The NBC travelling circus known as Sunday Night Football comes to town this week. Let’s preview the game through the circus that took place on the campus of Harrison University in Old School.
“Fill it up again! Once it hits your lips, it’s so good!” It seems like we’ve gone 2 months without a home game and roughly about that long without a proper preview. Let’s see, what’s happened in that time? Well, the Great Gazoo (aka Colin Kaepernick) has found himself a warm spot on the bench as the Niners brass wait for the inevitable implosion of Blaine Gabbert. Our old pal Ken Whisenhunt has found himself in the enviable position of being paid millions of dollars not to coach the Titans. We now have more visual proof that Greg Hardy is a piece of human debris. And the Seahawks found ways to get a couple road wins and put themselves back in the playoff conversation after a few devastating losses. - Mark (aka HawksFN)
“In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds, pushing 89 years of age, and the recent recipient of a brand new plastic hip, Joseph “Blue” Polaski”. Carson Palmer, and his tennis ball adorned walker, brings his birds of the desert up north for their yearly visit to Seahawks Stadium. Looks like that new knee he got has been working pretty well. The Cardinals are averaging almost 35 points a game. Of course, when you’ve played the JV teams of the NFL, it’s a little easier to do. The more surprising thing is that some of Carson’s fellow senior citizens have apparently tossed away their canes as well. The artist formerly known as CJ2K is on pace for over 1,300 yards on the ground. The bespectacled Larry Fitzgerald is looking at a 1,400 yard receiving campaign. Matt Hasselbeck gets tested like every other week for PED’s. Maybe someone send a tester to Glendale.
“Damn, I’m gonna end up workin’ at Red Lobster. You already work at Red Lobster. Yea, but it’s part-time…dick”. Having given up 31 sacks in the first 7 games of the year, that line could probably apply to every one of the current offensive linemen. So, you can imagine the collective surprise of the 12th Man when the Cowboys racked up a total of 0 sacks 2 weeks ago. That kind of performance would be most appreciated this week as the Cards d-line is just a little better than the Cowboys.
“What we need to do is throw a big kick-off, kick-ass party.” Ok, twist our arm. Rest assured, there will be a small get together. One of many small get togethers we’ve had down there on Utah St. However, like when it snows around here but doesn’t really snow around here, we’re having a delayed opening. You’ll have to wait all the way until the late hour of 9am to come join us in the alley to get ready for the game. I know, I know. But you folks are a hungry and thirsty bunch and we don’t want to run out before the afternoon games even start.
“SNOOP! SNOOP-A-LOOP!” Well, it won’t quite be Snoop, but we will have a musical VIP there on Sunday with us. Ray Dalton, probably most famous for his vocals in Macklemore’s “Can’t Hold Us”, will bring his dulcet tones to the tailgate on Sunday. So bring your green hat, maybe he’ll go streaking with you up through the quad. Ehh, probably not.
“That’s how you do it. That’s how you debate!” In an embarrassment of riches for this Sunday Night game, we’ll also be welcoming a Seahawk alum who definitely knew how to debate, most famously on January 6, 2007. His takedown of Tony Romo as he was headed toward the end zone following a botched field goal hold finished one of the great plays in Seahawks history. Big Play Babs will be making an appearance on Sunday. Come on down, get an autograph and take a selfie with him. Word on the street is if you donate $500 to his foundation, he’ll tackle you on the concrete just like he did Tony Romo. Ok, I might have made that up.
“We’re going streaking!” Even after my little tantrum up above, I still believe this team can start a nice streak beginning on Sunday night. Pete Carroll does not lose at home in primetime games. The Hawks have always been better in the second half of the year than the first half. They are most definitely the more desperate team as they know a loss all but ends their chances for a division title. A potentially rainy, windy night always favors a team that can run the ball. And when the 12th Man gets a chance to marinate for a good number of hours, the noise can get a little deafening.
Seahawks 24, Cardinals 14