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Week 10 Preview – Old School

11/13/2015

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Sometimes in life we find that we have to learn the same lesson over and over.  In the Seahawks case, it’s that lesson that the great Ric Flair has taught us.  To be the man, you have to beat the man.  The Hawks find themselves staring the man directly in the face with the Cardinals coming to town on Sunday night.  Just as they looked them in the face last season when the Seahawks were 3 games back in the division.  Thankfully they dispatched of the Cards with extreme prejudice that day on their way to winning their last 8 in a row and finding themselves in the home of the man for Super Bowl XLIV.  In the interest of helping everyone keep their lunch down, we won’t take that lesson any further.
 
The NBC travelling circus known as Sunday Night Football comes to town this week.  Let’s preview the game through the circus that took place on the campus of Harrison University in Old School.
 
“Fill it up again!  Once it hits your lips, it’s so good!”  It seems like we’ve gone 2 months without a home game and roughly about that long without a proper preview.  Let’s see, what’s happened in that time?  Well, the Great Gazoo (aka Colin Kaepernick) has found himself a warm spot on the bench as the Niners brass wait for the inevitable implosion of Blaine Gabbert.  Our old pal Ken Whisenhunt has found himself in the enviable position of being paid millions of dollars not to coach the Titans.    We now have more visual proof that Greg Hardy is a piece of human debris.  And the Seahawks found ways to get a couple road wins and put themselves back in the playoff conversation after a few devastating losses. - Mark (aka HawksFN)


“Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.”  Good.  So, I can say that I think Pom Pom Pete and his mini-me on offense Darrell Bevell just need to part ways?  And let me be clear, it’s not because I think Bevell’s a below-average play caller.  That offense has taken us to 2 straight Super Bowls. But, they shared a very traumatic experience in February and it’s obvious they haven’t been able to move on.  How in the damn hell are you 32nd in red zone offense in a league that still employs the McCown brothers, Blaine Gabbert, and the entire AFC South? Further still, how are you that bad with that shiny new toy you went and got in the offseason?  Stop it, I can already hear the whining.  “But he’s double-covered, he’s triple-covered”.  Ok fine.  Do we not still have receivers that have caught multiple game-winning touchdowns on the field?  Ultimately, we all know what this boils down to.  The psychological scar that was left by the last play in the Super Bowl has not fully healed.  They’ll never admit it of course but actions always speak louder than words.  The offensive scheme right now is one born out of coaching scared.  They are playing not to lose as opposed to playing to win.  That must change.  I’m hoping the bye week was just what this organization needed to regroup.
 
“In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds, pushing 89 years of age, and the recent recipient of a brand new plastic hip, Joseph “Blue” Polaski”. Carson Palmer, and his tennis ball adorned walker, brings his birds of the desert up north for their yearly visit to Seahawks Stadium.  Looks like that new knee he got has been working pretty well.  The Cardinals are averaging almost 35 points a game.  Of course, when you’ve played the JV teams of the NFL, it’s a little easier to do.  The more surprising thing is that some of Carson’s fellow senior citizens have apparently tossed away their canes as well.  The artist formerly known as CJ2K is on pace for over 1,300 yards on the ground.  The bespectacled Larry Fitzgerald is looking at a 1,400 yard receiving campaign.  Matt Hasselbeck gets tested like every other week for PED’s.  Maybe someone send a tester to Glendale.
 
“Damn, I’m gonna end up workin’ at Red Lobster.  You already work at Red Lobster.  Yea, but it’s part-time…dick”.  Having given up 31 sacks in the first 7 games of the year, that line could probably apply to every one of the current offensive linemen.  So, you can imagine the collective surprise of the 12th Man when the Cowboys racked up a total of 0 sacks 2 weeks ago.  That kind of performance would be most appreciated this week as the Cards d-line is just a little better than the Cowboys. 
 
“What we need to do is throw a big kick-off, kick-ass party.”  Ok, twist our arm.  Rest assured, there will be a small get together.  One of many small get togethers we’ve had down there on Utah St.  However, like when it snows around here but doesn’t really snow around here, we’re having a delayed opening.  You’ll have to wait all the way until the late hour of 9am to come join us in the alley to get ready for the game.  I know, I know.  But you folks are a hungry and thirsty bunch and we don’t want to run out before the afternoon games even start.
 
“SNOOP! SNOOP-A-LOOP!”  Well, it won’t quite be Snoop, but we will have a musical VIP there on Sunday with us.  Ray Dalton, probably most famous for his vocals in Macklemore’s “Can’t Hold Us”, will bring his dulcet tones to the tailgate on Sunday.  So bring your green hat, maybe he’ll go streaking with you up through the quad.  Ehh, probably not. 
 
“That’s how you do it.  That’s how you debate!”  In an embarrassment of riches for this Sunday Night game, we’ll also be welcoming a Seahawk alum who definitely knew how to debate, most famously on January 6, 2007.  His takedown of Tony Romo as he was headed toward the end zone following a botched field goal hold finished one of the great plays in Seahawks history.  Big Play Babs will be making an appearance on Sunday.  Come on down, get an autograph and take a selfie with him.  Word on the street is if you donate $500 to his foundation, he’ll tackle you on the concrete just like he did Tony Romo.  Ok, I might have made that up. 
 
“We’re going streaking!” Even after my little tantrum up above, I still believe this team can start a nice streak beginning on Sunday night.  Pete Carroll does not lose at home in primetime games.  The Hawks have always been better in the second half of the year than the first half.  They are most definitely the more desperate team as they know a loss all but ends their chances for a division title.  A potentially rainy, windy night always favors a team that can run the ball.  And when the 12th Man gets a chance to marinate for a good number of hours, the noise can get a little deafening. 
 
Seahawks 24, Cardinals 14

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