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Wild Card Preview – Anchorman 2

1/9/2015

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 - Mark aka @HawksFn
You smell that?  No, not the acrid fog we had around here the other day that sent people racing to their nearest outhouse for fresh air. I’m talking about the playoffs.  And not just the playoffs, but the return of the playoffs to the friendly confines of CenturyLink Field.  It’s a glorious combination of victory and domination.  Maybe a little stale beer thrown in there too.  The defense of the Seahawks Super Bowl title begins in earnest on Saturday night.  I’m sure Veronica Corningstone was a Panthers fan when she was a reporter in Asheville, so let’s preview the game through the antics in Anchorman 2.  Ok, I’ll admit, that was a very weak link I just made there.  Cut me some slack.  It’s not easy tying these movies into the actual game.

“I can always guess how many jelly beans are in a jelly bean jar, even if I'm wrong.” And I’m sure we could have all guessed how many wins the Seahawks were going to have this year when they were 3-3 and we would have all been wrong on that too.  I’ll freely admit, I thought I had a better chance of being added to the Seahawks practice squad this year than they had of finishing 12-4 when they were 3-3.  If you haven’t yet, go over to espn.com and look at the piece that Elizabeth Merrill wrote on how the Hawks were able to put this turnaround together.  Coaching’s important, yes.  Drafting is very important, of course.  But woe to you if you discount the impact that actual player leadership has on being able to salvage a season that was headed for disaster. Speaking of…

“If you've got an ass like the North Star, wise men are gonna want to follow it.” Earl has got his defense following him.  Russell is doing all he can to get his offense to follow him.  Now is the time to get them to follow him like they did in Glendale a few weeks ago.  I know this is asking a lot, but could we maybe go into halftime on Saturday up 17-3?  Sure, the 4th quarter comebacks are fun.  But in the interest of the cardiovascular health of the greater Puget Sound area, it’d be nice if we didn’t have a repeat of the St. Louis game.

“I'm not trying to be funny, but are you sure he's not a midget with a learning disability?”  Well, being 6’ 4”, I think we can cross off midget when discussing Cam Newton.  Learning disability?  Ehhh…might be something there.  The Superman-posing, first-down pointing, women’s clothes-wearing, fake smiling leader of the Panthers brings his antics to CenturyLink Field for the first time. I don’t think I need to remind you, but quarterbacks making their first appearance at the stadium that’s at 800 Occidental Ave have not fared well.  Just going off memory here, but I think they’re 1-20 the last 10 years.  Oh wait, a few of those years sucked, so maybe they’re 3-18.  Word on the street is that the Panthers tried to simulate the noise they’ll encounter at practice this week and failed miserably.  Wouldn’t have mattered if they fired up a 747 in their practice facility.  You can’t replicate a playoff crowd in Seattle. 

“Hey, everyone, if I happen to kill you today... sorry!” Not that he’d ever answer the question, but I imagine that Marshawn says that to the opposing team’s players as they’re warming up each week.  Speaking of Marshawn, he’s $100K lighter as we head into the playoffs since he lost his appeal for not speaking enough to the media.  On the surface, this seems like a ridiculous fine, I know.  You compare it to the $70K fine that Suh paid for trying to end Aaron Rodgers’ year and it looks even more ridiculous.  But keep this in mind.  During the last collective bargaining negotiations, the players wanted more money.  The league countered that ok you can have more money but we want you to give the media more access.  Oh and by the way if you don’t, here’s the schedule of fines.  Both sides said yes, and off we go.  Marshawn knows this is part of his job and thumbed his nose at the league anyway.  So, the league enforced its rules.  Simple, done, end of story.  Personally, I’m glad the league stuck to their guns.  Marshawn runs with a small amount of anger as is, wouldn’t we agree?  I’m wondering if this might give him just a little more fuel for his fire and the Panthers will be on the receiving end of that anger.

“Which one of you pipe hittin bitches can pass the salt?” In case you hadn’t heard the news, 12th Man Mania on 950 KJR will be broadcasting live tonight from the tailgate from 7-9pm.  The grills will be fired up to provide some sustenance during the show.  The beverage cart will be rolling up and down the aisles of the parking lot. Our buddy Rich will start smoking the 60 pounds of pork roughly about midnight tonight.  Then KCPQ 13 will be down a good chunk of tomorrow broadcasting the shenanigans out to the greater Seattle area.  At some point in there we might catch a nap too.  So if you see me catching 40 winks over by the bar, it’s not just because I was over served.

“I believe in two things: Chicken, and that the census is a way for the UN to make your children gay.” Maybe let’s add a third.  Teams at home in the divisional round of the playoffs rarely lose.  The home teams have won close to 80% of the games since they went to the current playoff format in 1990.  Double-digit home favorites in this round have lost a grand total of 2 times since 1990.  Vegas has instilled the Hawks as an 11-point favorite.  That sounds like double-digits to me.

“Drink it in.  It always goes down smooth”.  Sorry, had to go back to the original for this one.  Maybe it’s just me, but there has been a palpable lack of buzz around town going into this game.  Maybe it’s because it’s the Panthers and the win is just expected.  Maybe there’s a numbing effect from last year’s Super Bowl win for the first playoff game the year after.  Maybe we’re getting a little spoiled.  Ultimately, I would ask this of fellow Seahawks fans.  Drink this in.  Savor every bit of it.  Runs like these do not come around very often and they have been almost nonexistent in Seahawk history.  Fly that 12th Man mini-flag from the car window.  Go to the rallies being held in various areas.  Hold nothing back if you’re at the game tomorrow.  Save nothing for the assumed NFC Championship game.  You’ve got a week, you’ll recover. 

“All right, everyone, listen up! By virtue of being on this battlefield, there is no return. People will die. Some will be disfigured. In some cases, lasting friendships will be made. And as usual, no touching of the hair and face.”  You never know.  Someone might throw a trident right into the heart of Cam Newton.  Do the Superman pose with that in your chest…jackass.  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, the Hawks are not losing to this…

Seahawks 28, Panthers 10

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Seahawks Ticket News -

According to TiqIQ, secondary market ticket prices for Seahawks/Panthers are on average 28% cheaper than last year's Divisional game vs New Orleans ($457 vs $325). Overall, prices have seen a 25% dip over the past 7 days, but initially jumped 7.67% between Sunday & Monday after the matchup with Carolina was set. The cheapest ticket available is $206 with cheapest lower level listing at $217.

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