As badly as that game started yesterday, I thought sure this column would be filled with angst and hand-wringing. However, the defense overcame early problems and the offense finally remembered they were playing one of the worst teams in the league and scored some points. The Seahawks now have 3 in a row at home against teams with a combined 9-21 record. Let's re-live a happy Sunday afternoon through Airplane's classic lines.
"Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?": Sam Bradford, would you have enjoyed being in a Turkish prison more yesterday than playing that defense? Yes, I think you would have. Chris Clemmons was back in rare form yesterday and was pretty much having his way with your left tackle. Red Bryant not only picked off one of your errant passes but also stiff-armed one of your wideouts directly into the turf.
"I won't deceive you, Mr. Striker. We're running out of time. Surely there must be something you can do. I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley!": Surely, Tarvaris was able to do something yesterday. That strike to Sidney Rice on the first touchdown pass was pretty impressive, especially when he's throwing that with a partially torn pec muscle. It's even more impressive after his confidence had to be completely shot after his first two throws were inexcusable and were picked off.
"Oh stewardess! I speak jive.": Even though Barbara Billingsley has passed on, we may need to see if she taught anyone else to speak jive. I think it's the only way to get through to this team that you can't continue to commit these many penalties (13 for 100 yards yesterday) and expect to win. Now, on occasion a 15-yarder for a hard hit on defense is ok since it sets the tone and reminds receivers you don't just come across the middle without consequences against this team. However, multiple false starts on offense in a stadium that was pretty darn quiet yesterday is maddening. Tom Cable, figure it out. These are your guys. This is not on Pom-Pom Pete.
"Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.": After winning 11 of the last 12 against them, you know the Rams have to feel when the Hawks come to town that they've got their iron boots on and are just thankful they play indoors so they aren't falling in mud. After being the Rams whipping boy from 2000-2004, it's nice to have a whipping boy of our own for a change.
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.": Fox had this new technology they were piloting this week and you could actually hear what Steve Spagnuolo was thinking as he was watching his team go down in flames against the Hawks. If you listened real carefully, you could also hear the clock in his head ticking down to how many more games he'll be coaching in St. Louis.
Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
Male announcer: Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone sh*t again.
Male announcer: There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.
The greatest "wait...what?!" moment of the movie and it fits perfectly with Red Bryant's interception. They say he tips the scales at 340 and if that's true, I'm tipping them at 165. But to be able to drop back in coverage like that, track down a ball that was tipped twice, and return it 10 yards with a devastating stiff arm thrown in there as well was as impressive a string of events as I've seen in a while. As he's sitting on the bench about ready to hack up a lung, why wasn't anyone getting him some oxygen??!!
"Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home. Jim never vomits at home.": Ok, Hawks, you've got 3 home games coming up and the schedule looks pretty favorable. Not the time to vomit at home. Feel free to have the second cup of coffee though because these 3 games are all against NFC opponents and you may well need the tie-breakers when it comes to wild card time. Yes, I'm being optimistic. One might even say overreacting. But as the Ian Furness show will
"Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?": Sam Bradford, would you have enjoyed being in a Turkish prison more yesterday than playing that defense? Yes, I think you would have. Chris Clemmons was back in rare form yesterday and was pretty much having his way with your left tackle. Red Bryant not only picked off one of your errant passes but also stiff-armed one of your wideouts directly into the turf.
"I won't deceive you, Mr. Striker. We're running out of time. Surely there must be something you can do. I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley!": Surely, Tarvaris was able to do something yesterday. That strike to Sidney Rice on the first touchdown pass was pretty impressive, especially when he's throwing that with a partially torn pec muscle. It's even more impressive after his confidence had to be completely shot after his first two throws were inexcusable and were picked off.
"Oh stewardess! I speak jive.": Even though Barbara Billingsley has passed on, we may need to see if she taught anyone else to speak jive. I think it's the only way to get through to this team that you can't continue to commit these many penalties (13 for 100 yards yesterday) and expect to win. Now, on occasion a 15-yarder for a hard hit on defense is ok since it sets the tone and reminds receivers you don't just come across the middle without consequences against this team. However, multiple false starts on offense in a stadium that was pretty darn quiet yesterday is maddening. Tom Cable, figure it out. These are your guys. This is not on Pom-Pom Pete.
"Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.": After winning 11 of the last 12 against them, you know the Rams have to feel when the Hawks come to town that they've got their iron boots on and are just thankful they play indoors so they aren't falling in mud. After being the Rams whipping boy from 2000-2004, it's nice to have a whipping boy of our own for a change.
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.": Fox had this new technology they were piloting this week and you could actually hear what Steve Spagnuolo was thinking as he was watching his team go down in flames against the Hawks. If you listened real carefully, you could also hear the clock in his head ticking down to how many more games he'll be coaching in St. Louis.
Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
Male announcer: Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone sh*t again.
Male announcer: There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.
The greatest "wait...what?!" moment of the movie and it fits perfectly with Red Bryant's interception. They say he tips the scales at 340 and if that's true, I'm tipping them at 165. But to be able to drop back in coverage like that, track down a ball that was tipped twice, and return it 10 yards with a devastating stiff arm thrown in there as well was as impressive a string of events as I've seen in a while. As he's sitting on the bench about ready to hack up a lung, why wasn't anyone getting him some oxygen??!!
"Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home. Jim never vomits at home.": Ok, Hawks, you've got 3 home games coming up and the schedule looks pretty favorable. Not the time to vomit at home. Feel free to have the second cup of coffee though because these 3 games are all against NFC opponents and you may well need the tie-breakers when it comes to wild card time. Yes, I'm being optimistic. One might even say overreacting. But as the Ian Furness show will
