It's been pretty cold lately so let's turn our thoughts toward spring and the South and take a look at this game through the goings on at Bushwood Country Club.
"I thought you'd be the man to beat this year. I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.": Exhibit A this year of why predictions, pundits, writers, most of ESPN, etc. are just taking up space....the St. Louis Rams. With exception of a few folks who for some reason thought Kevin Kolb could play quarterback, everyone picked St. Louis to win this division. Apparently some forgot the Sophomore Jinx of high-performing rookie quarterbacks.
"Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.": You know ESPN's hoping for a power outage on Monday Night so they don't have to broadcast this game. If this were a FOX game, you can bet Ron Pitts and Jim Mora would be darkening the door of the Seahawks press box. Maybe we should just tell Red Bryant that Mora's broadcasting the game so he can have another 2 blocked kicks.
"In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'.": Oh Steve Spagnuolo, what are we going to do when we don't have you to kick around anymore? I know your team's been racked with injuries, but how do you go from consensus pick to win the NFC West to being firmly implanted in the basement? You know what you did wrong, don't you? You allowed Josh McDaniels to crawl into your bed and then, just as he did in Denver, he crapped in it. How else do you explain to absolute regression of Sam Bradford (although if you go back to the season preview you'll find some wise scribe who predicted this).
"What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards. I notice you don't spend too much time there. I'm not quite sure where they are.": While Paul Allen's not exactly on the same level as Ty Webb or for that matter the Mariners owner, it would be nice to see him once in a while at the games. Maybe he is there and they just don't show him. The test will be Monday night since you know ESPN's going to do all they can to fill the time. If he's there, they'll find him.
"A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.": An offensive line without holes is still ripe for a long Marshawn Lynch run. But it's beginning to look a little like Jim Mora's year here with that mash unit they call an offensive line. Part of the reason for that is that chicken sh*t a$$hole Trent Cole from the Eagles. This piece of garbage gives Russell Okung a Hulk Hogan-like hip toss long after the whistle blows which causes him to tear a pec muscle and be out the rest of the season. Not only does he escape without a penalty, but he gets fined a mere $7,500. Put that in perspective of Earl Bennett from the Bears who was fined $10K for wearing orange shoes. Cole's defense? “You can’t compare me to that (speaking of Suh's stomp/suspension). I was in a situation.” Oh really? Any of you ever try that? I'm so sorry honey that I lost Junior's college tuition in a poker game, but I was in a situation. Oh, ok, then I forgive you. No, you'd be looking for your nearest divorce attorney after you finished ducking the fine china hurtling at your head.
"I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips. You'll get nothing, and like it!": I felt like Spalding Smails on Thursday night in the futile attempt to obtain a beverage at a Pioneer Square watering hole. I got nothing and had to like it. I had to settle for a stadium-priced beer in the absolutely dead atmosphere they call Touchdown City. Hint to the Seahawks, if you want people to go in there prior to a game, at least let them buy beer for prices somewhat similar to what they can get in numerous places less than 200 yards from your front door.
"I'll bet you a hundred bucks you slice it into the woods. Gambling is illegal at Bushwood sir, and I never slice. [Swings club, slices ball into woods] *Damn*.": Why does Vegas continue to ignore the Hawks? They have the best record at home against the spread the last 5 years and if you can even find a book with a line, it's no more than 5. Have they watched St. Louis? Have they watched Marshawn Lynch in primetime games? Is Tim Donaghy somehow switching over from the NBA and officiating this game? I'm nervous since for the first time in a while this year I'm fairly confident the Hawks can have a relatively easy win. Screw it, let's be confident. We always have the Mariners in town to disappoint us.
Seahawks 28, Rams 10