Let's re-live a happy Sunday afternoon through the trials and tribulations of the Clark Griswold family.
"You about ready to do some kissing?:" Hey ESPN, do you have any analysts who actually do any analysis? The Bears had lost every game since Caleb Hanie took over and the Seahawks had won 4 of their last 5. Yet, every single Countdown "analyst" picked the Bears and all but one of the "experts" on the website picked the Bears. To borrow a line from a previous entry, do the world a favor, pull your lip over your head and swallow.
"Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.": You wonder who revved up the microwave around Caleb Hanie. For a while there in the first half, he was forgetting he was Caleb Hanie and was actually in a rhythm and making quality throws. Thankfully though he came to his senses, realized he had no business playing that well, and started becoming an interception machine.
"Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber. Dad, I think you mean burn rubber and eat my dust. Whatever, Russ. Whatever.": Oh, the big dog got to eat yesterday, didn't he?! Red Bryant and all his 360 pounds rumbling into the end zone was a sight to see. Nobody was really around him, so nobody was eating any dust or rubber, but when he started high-stepping he was certainly bringing up some dust.
"Don't throw me down, Clark. I'll try not to, Aunt Bethany...": Chris Clemmons, an excellent job yet again throwing the quarterback down multiple times. Slowly but surely, he's creeping up the leaderboard in sacks in the conference and proving yet again what a good pickup he was last year.
"Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.": For the amount of money invested, we're not exactly getting any return from our tight ends. I didn't realize until it was mentioned on the broadcast that Seahawk tight ends have exactly zero touchdowns this year. Part of that is this group has a greater case of the drops than Koren Robinson ever did. Another part is that it's pulling teeth to get Tarvaris to throw in the middle of the field which is where the tight ends tend to congregate.
"WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell.": I think that's not too far off from Lovie Smith's post-game locker room talk. This is a team that at one point was 7-3 and now after their latest defeat at the hands of the Hawks, they're now 7-7 with Green Bay staring them in the face next week. I'd be curious to know how many teams that started 7-3 didn't make the playoffs.
"Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.": If you listened real closely, you might have heard Brandon Browner say that as he was passing a number of Bears on his way to the end zone to put the nail in the coffin. That kid has impressed me more than just about anybody else this year, particularly considering what he looked like early. He and his pals in the backfield did a fine job yesterday avoiding penalties and getting in there to knock a number of passes away.
"'Tis the season to be merry. That's my name. No sh*t.": 'Tis the season to be irrationaly exuberant. Granted, we didn't get all the teams to lose that we needed (screw you and the horse you rode in on Hue Jackson) but we still have a pretty decent chance to make the playoffs by beating our division foes. So, hopefully everyone's able to make it to the game on Christmas Eve and bring the noise. It's time to put Alex Smith and the 49ers in their place. Please, in the name of all that is good and decent, don't sell your tickets to Niners fans. They're annoying enough as it is. We don't need them getting comfortable in numbers as well.