Unlike last year when we didn't get a home opener or a home closer and had to endure a 3 game road trip, the NFL was actually fairly neutral with the Hawks this year. 2 national games, 4 games that start at 10am Pacific Time, and we close the year with 3 of the last 4 at home. Let's take a quick look at each game.
Week 1 at Arizona: One of those times where you're thankful they moved into a climate controlled stadium in Glendale. We'll see if Kevin Kolb can continue to show why Arizona paid him way too much money.
Week 2 home vs. Dallas: For the first time in many years, Dallas actually has to come back up here to Tony Romo's House of Horrors. You wonder if Jordan Babineaux still haunts him in his nightmares. I know Bill Parcells man-boobs still haunt me at times.
Week 4 at St. Louis: In front of about 25,000 people, the Hawks will take on the Rams. If you listen real carefully, you can almost hear Ron Pitts and John Lynch warming up their voices to do this game.
Week 5 at Carolina: The Hawks head back east to meet Cam Newton with his weird ears and fake smile. In all the NFL's benevolence, they made this a 1pm Pacific time game. That can only help the Hawks since the last time they were there, I was in attendance and saw a game that set the NFL back about 5 years.
Week 6 home vs. New England: Our hope is that this will be the KJR Kares-a-thon game as Brady and his hair make their 2nd ever trip to Seahawks Stadium. Just as Safeco Field fills up with fake/bandwagon Red Sox fans every summer, I have no doubt we'll see plenty of Pats fans in the stands that day who will stare at you blankly if you ask who coached that team before Belichick.
Week 7 at America's Crappiest Stadium: Also known as Candlestick Park, the Hawks make their yearly trip to the city of Saint Francis. The entire nation gets another look at that craphole of a stadium as it's a Thursday night game. If there's one place where the traffic would be worse for a Thursday night game than Seattle, it's San Francisco. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of ass-hat fans.
Week 8 at Detroit: "It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit." The Seahawks re-visit the scene of the crime known as Super Bowl XL. I'm thinking we'll get lucky and Suh will have already been suspended for the season for stabbing someone in the heart with a trident.
Week 9 home vs. Minnesota: The Vikings are beginning to resemble their stadium. Old, listless, and will cave in at a moment's notice. There's a part of me that wishes Daunte Culpepper were still there so we could make fun of his stupid false-start dance.
Week 10 home vs. New York Jets: Rex Ryan's foot fetish and Mark Sanchez's bitchiness make its way to town. Oh, and lest we forget, TEBOWMANIA!!! The only time I want to see any Tebow-ing that day is if he's praying to God Almighty to find him an offensive line that can stop Chris Clemmons.
Week 11: The Hawks are a 3 point favorite against the BYE. Interestingly (or maybe not), it's our latest bye week since 2000.
Week 12 at Miami: While the NFL was nice enough to let us postpone our Miami trip until late November, they still make the Hawks play at 10am Pacific time. Hopefully the turkey hangover will have worked its way out by then. Of course, with the disarray that franchise is in right now, that may not matter.
Week 13 at Chicago: For the 18th year in a row we have to go to Chicago in December. Ok, maybe it only feels that way. Maybe Jay Cutler's spawn with that bimbo from MTV will be due that week so we won't have to see his pouting.
Week 14 home vs. Arizona: This starts a key stretch of the schedule. If the Hawks can remain within shouting distance of the division or wild card, the schedule sets up nicely the rest of the year. At this point in the year, Whisenhunt's probably been fired and Fitzgerald is concussed after multiple errant throws from Kolb.
Week 15 at Buffalo (in Toronto): There's a chance Geoff and I may make the trek for this game. Thankfully we'd be in the cozy confines of the Rogers Centre so we won't freeze. Also nice of the NFL to make this a 1pm Pacific time game.
Week 16 home vs. San Francisco: I've got a sneaking suspicion this game may get flexed to Sunday night. This just feels like it might be for the division. Plus, it'd be an opportunity for the national audience to see Pete Carroll jab a kicking tee into Harbaugh's eye.
Week 17 home vs. St. Louis: Ahhh...good memories from a couple years back when this game propelled the Hawks into the playoffs and the euphoria of beating the Saints. With no Gregg Williams around to target Seahawk players, you'd like to think the same kind of result would be possible.