In the immortal words of pro wrestler Ric Flair...Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! How about that display at Seahawks Stadium in front of a national audience last night? As Ric Flair also teaches us, to be the man you've got to beat the man. Well, that was an old fashioned ass whipping last night. There's taking someone out behind the woodshed, but that was taking them out back, prying off some 2x4's, and smacking them in the face. We officially have a rivalry on our hands my friends.
Let's bask in the glory of that win through a few more gems from the Festivus episode:
Let's bask in the glory of that win through a few more gems from the Festivus episode:
"Ow! .. Ow! I give, I give! Uncle!": It was very apparent that the Seahawks were Frank and the 49ers were George last night. That Niner team tapped out in the 2nd quarter when they realized they had absolutely zero shot. A perfect example was Frank Gore. Every time the Niners huddled coming out of a timeout or break, he had a big coat on in the huddle and a trainer waiting next to him to take it back to the sideline. I know he went to Miami, but how big of a pansy move is that? It was 40 degrees, not 40 below.
"Hey, how'd my horse do? He had to be shot.": It's a good thing Vernon Davis isn't a horse. He got lit up just about as much as the tree at Westlake Center. Granted, it was a terrible call for that hit to be a penalty. If you can't hit a guy in the chest (where he has pads) with your shoulder, then where can you hit him? That excuse that he was a defenseless receiver is garbage. Are we now supposed to stand by and just wait for a guy to catch it? That's a rule the NFL needs to take a close look at in the offseason. The rules already heavily favor the offense. Time to let the defense actually play defense once in a while.
"I guess this is the ugly girl I've been hearing about.": Jerry's two-face girlfriend is a perfect analogy for the Niners. Most weeks this year, they've been in the good light and have completely dominated teams. But against the Giants, the Vikings, the Rams, and now the Hawks, they look like Gwen did on the porch. Makes you wonder, which Niner team will show up in the playoffs. Personally, I'm hoping for Elaine after she was in the steamy bagel shop for 6 hours. Yama Hama!
"I can't read it. I need my glasses! You don't need glasses, you're just weak! You're weak!": Harbaugh, you're weak! You didn't even need your stupid glasses halfway down your nose to know Pete Carroll was kicking your ass last night. Yet another example of Harbaugh's weakness showed up in Mike Silver's column today. Apparently after the Hawks loss down at America's Crappiest Stadium in October, Harbaugh got in his car, chased down the Seahawks bus as it was pulling out of the parking lot, and started honking his horn and mocking the Hawks. Well, you know what they say about karma. Would you like a side of crow with your humble pie there Jimmy?
"Damnedest thing.. me and Charlie were calling to ask you out, and, uh, we got this bagel place..": It was the damnedest thing. As the 49ers lined up for their first field goal attempt, the psychic known as Geoff The Magnificent sitting behind me says "watch them block this and run it back for a touchdown". I told him they haven't done that for 15 years. I barely get the word "years" out of my mouth and Richard Sherman is heading for paydirt. The last time we felt the stands shake like that was the NFC Championship game. It was nice to see Red Bryant continue to channel his inner Joe Nash, particularly on a short field goal like that where the trajectory is usually pretty high.
"This is the best Festivus ever!": I am hard pressed to come up with a better Dec. 23rd than what we had yesterday. An 8 hour tailgate. Seeing the Cowboys go down in flames. Speaking of flames, we had a burning of 49ers jerseys in the middle of the alley. But the best part of the day? Watching that river of human debris known as Niner fans walk out of that stadium. Just completely dejected. They couldn't even come up with an annoying chant and that's like breathing to them. You wonder if a loss like that causes a massive hangover and bleeds into their game with Arizona next week. I say yes. We have the first class cabin reserved on the Dare To Dream Express so climb aboard. This team is on a freakin' roll right now. Even the national boys have to pay attention to us now since the Jets QB situation just isn't interesting anymore. 12th Man, let's bring it again next weekend! Go Hawks!!
"Hey, how'd my horse do? He had to be shot.": It's a good thing Vernon Davis isn't a horse. He got lit up just about as much as the tree at Westlake Center. Granted, it was a terrible call for that hit to be a penalty. If you can't hit a guy in the chest (where he has pads) with your shoulder, then where can you hit him? That excuse that he was a defenseless receiver is garbage. Are we now supposed to stand by and just wait for a guy to catch it? That's a rule the NFL needs to take a close look at in the offseason. The rules already heavily favor the offense. Time to let the defense actually play defense once in a while.
"I guess this is the ugly girl I've been hearing about.": Jerry's two-face girlfriend is a perfect analogy for the Niners. Most weeks this year, they've been in the good light and have completely dominated teams. But against the Giants, the Vikings, the Rams, and now the Hawks, they look like Gwen did on the porch. Makes you wonder, which Niner team will show up in the playoffs. Personally, I'm hoping for Elaine after she was in the steamy bagel shop for 6 hours. Yama Hama!
"I can't read it. I need my glasses! You don't need glasses, you're just weak! You're weak!": Harbaugh, you're weak! You didn't even need your stupid glasses halfway down your nose to know Pete Carroll was kicking your ass last night. Yet another example of Harbaugh's weakness showed up in Mike Silver's column today. Apparently after the Hawks loss down at America's Crappiest Stadium in October, Harbaugh got in his car, chased down the Seahawks bus as it was pulling out of the parking lot, and started honking his horn and mocking the Hawks. Well, you know what they say about karma. Would you like a side of crow with your humble pie there Jimmy?
"Damnedest thing.. me and Charlie were calling to ask you out, and, uh, we got this bagel place..": It was the damnedest thing. As the 49ers lined up for their first field goal attempt, the psychic known as Geoff The Magnificent sitting behind me says "watch them block this and run it back for a touchdown". I told him they haven't done that for 15 years. I barely get the word "years" out of my mouth and Richard Sherman is heading for paydirt. The last time we felt the stands shake like that was the NFC Championship game. It was nice to see Red Bryant continue to channel his inner Joe Nash, particularly on a short field goal like that where the trajectory is usually pretty high.
"This is the best Festivus ever!": I am hard pressed to come up with a better Dec. 23rd than what we had yesterday. An 8 hour tailgate. Seeing the Cowboys go down in flames. Speaking of flames, we had a burning of 49ers jerseys in the middle of the alley. But the best part of the day? Watching that river of human debris known as Niner fans walk out of that stadium. Just completely dejected. They couldn't even come up with an annoying chant and that's like breathing to them. You wonder if a loss like that causes a massive hangover and bleeds into their game with Arizona next week. I say yes. We have the first class cabin reserved on the Dare To Dream Express so climb aboard. This team is on a freakin' roll right now. Even the national boys have to pay attention to us now since the Jets QB situation just isn't interesting anymore. 12th Man, let's bring it again next weekend! Go Hawks!!
