OAKLAND -4.5 vs. Kansas City: Oh, those tricky Raiders. They've had themselves quite a full week. After taking Aaron Curry off our hands, they must have figured they got such a steal that they could afford to splurge on Carson Palmer. Giving up potentially two 1st round picks for him makes a lot of folks think Al Davis isn't dead. He's just on the island with Elvis and Tupac. But Kansas City's awful and Oakland should be able to take care of business fairly easily.
Pittsburgh -3.5 at ARIZONA: I had to check this twice. I needed to make sure this wasn't -13.5. This is definitely one of our Elmer Fudd games. Be vewy, vewy quiet. No sudden moves lest Vegas realize what they've done.
St. Louis +13.5 at DALLAS: This line just seems too high for any team quarterbacked by Tony Romo. This screams backdoor cover due to a late TAINT (Touchdown after interception). And yes, I realize AJ Feely may be the QB for the Rams and there's a chance he may pull a muscle in his butt again like he did in Seattle a few years back.
Green Bay -9.5 at MINNESOTA: Christian Ponder makes his NFL starting debut at the Big Department Store (aka Mall of America Field). Maybe not the best idea to have him make his debut against the world champions. This one could get ugly.
TENNESSEE -3.5 vs. Houston: Matthew gets back on a roll and Chris Johnson finally gets on track. The Texans begin their inevitable gravitation towards 8-8.
CAROLINA -1 vs. Washington: How is Carolina favored against anyone? Oh, that's right the Redskins QB choices are Rex Grossman....oh wait he just threw another pick, or John Beck who may as well be Glenn Beck out there. Cam Newton gets himself a home win in front of one of the quietest crowds I've ever been around.
NEW ORLEANS -14.5 vs. Indianapolis: In what would have been absolutely classic Saints had they not won the Super Bowl, their head coach gets his MCL blown out last week by his tight end. Normally that kind of black cat would scare me off, particularly with a point spread this high. But the Colts are in full Suck For Luck mode and the only thing Painter might be good for is getting another coat on the new Mercedes logo on the Superdome.
Denver +1 at MIAMI: Along with Carolina-Washington, it's our other game that'll be seen by 1.25% of the country. But, it'll take up at least 50% of the time on Sportscenter Sunday night since Tim Tebow's starting. Now, don't get me wrong, I like Tebow. But the media coverage of the whole thing is just nauseating. The pick's Denver if for no other reason than Miami's at home and there probably hasn't been a worse home team since the 1976 Bucs.
San Diego -1 at NEW YORK JETS: After watching that crapfest on Monday night, I just can't pick the Jets. If you can't handle Miami without a Revis TAINT, I can't see you handling San Diego.
Atlanta +3.5 at DETROIT: I don't know why, but it just feels like Detroit might have a bit of a hangover after that game against the Niners last week. Plus, the Falcons can't be this bad, can they?
TAMPA BAY +1 vs. Chicago: The Pouty One takes his group south to go shopping for retirement homes. The Bucs are right back into the division race after their win last week against the Saints. They keep it up this week.
Baltimore -9.5 at JACKSONVILLE: The parade of "who in their right mind came up with this schedule" games continues this week on Monday Night Football. This is the first of two (TWO!!??) MNF contests at the half-empty stadium in north Florida. With Hank Jr. now out, they've been getting former stars of the home team to kick off MNF. Who are you getting for the Jacksonville games? Mark Brunell? Fred Taylor and his constantly pulled groin?
Seattle +2.5 at CLEVELAND: As I said yesterday, let's dare to dream. The Seahawks can win back to back eastern time zone games. It's looking like Hillis and Haden will be out for the Browns, and that's nothing but good news. A note to the overly whiny Cleveland media and fans over Holmgren doing an interview here with Mitch. Get over yourselves!! So Holmgren gave an interview to an old friend and barely touched on the Browns, and you're all bent out of shape. I can see why he wouldn't talk to the Cleveland media prior to this.