That darned half-point hook kept me from a respectable 2-2 record last weekend and now I'm back at .500 but at least the fake bank still has $1200 in it. So, we find ourselves at Championship Sunday. There are two Harbaugh's, no Tebowmania, and America's Crappiest Stadium gets one more chance to have a "power outage" and stiff-arm their way into a new stadium. Before we get to the picks, let's look into the crystal ball and predict what the next two weeks will be like if a given scenario plays out on Sunday.
New England vs. San Francisco. This is easily the least nauseating scenario. Plenty of nostalgia as the Patriots will be returning to the Super Bowl and one of the most storied franchises returning to the Super Bowl as well in the Niners. There will be plenty of "Re-birth of Alex Smith" stories. I'm hoping there will be some kind of story about how Tom Brady won 3 Super Bowls when he was with Bridgette but hasn't won any since he's been with Gisele. That could make for a fun Media Day for once.
New England vs. New York. Easily the most nauseating scenario. Not only will the East Coast Media Bias Machine be in full force, but we'll have to watch highlights from Super Bowl 42 for 14 straight days. Plus, I don't think I like the idea of the Giants fans getting another crack at the Super Bowl since they constantly are calling for Coughlin's head even though he did win you a Super Bowl just a few short years ago. As we Seahawks fans should know, don't ever get tired of winning. You will inevitably get rid of your best coach ever.
New England vs. San Francisco. This is easily the least nauseating scenario. Plenty of nostalgia as the Patriots will be returning to the Super Bowl and one of the most storied franchises returning to the Super Bowl as well in the Niners. There will be plenty of "Re-birth of Alex Smith" stories. I'm hoping there will be some kind of story about how Tom Brady won 3 Super Bowls when he was with Bridgette but hasn't won any since he's been with Gisele. That could make for a fun Media Day for once.
New England vs. New York. Easily the most nauseating scenario. Not only will the East Coast Media Bias Machine be in full force, but we'll have to watch highlights from Super Bowl 42 for 14 straight days. Plus, I don't think I like the idea of the Giants fans getting another crack at the Super Bowl since they constantly are calling for Coughlin's head even though he did win you a Super Bowl just a few short years ago. As we Seahawks fans should know, don't ever get tired of winning. You will inevitably get rid of your best coach ever.
Baltimore vs. San Francisco. Ugh...the Family Matters Bowl. Only we won't have the comic relief of Steve Urkel to entertain us. The Harbaugh clash could easily be the least boring matchup in the leadup to the game. Plus, we'd be subjected to the "handshake" being re-lived a minimum of 285 times. Then come game time, the Harbaugh parents could easily break Archie Manning's record for most number of times a family member was shown during the broadcast. Wait, what am I thinking, that record will never be broken.
Baltimore vs. New York. Potentially the most boring scenario. Two boring head coaches. Two boring quarterbacks, unless Flacco cranks up his Whine Machine again. Maybe you trot out the story line about Baltimore coming back to Indy to win a Super Bowl. One of these days Seattle will have that when we get an NBA team back and are able to stick it to Oklahoma City in the playoffs.
Ok, on to the picks and the effort to win more fake money:
NEW ENGLAND -7 vs. Baltimore: This one boils down to going with the best quarterback, the best coach, and the home-field advantage. Yes, calling New England's defense sieve-like is offensive to sieves everywhere. At least sieves can stop the big chunks. But Baltimore's offense just isn't that good. Sure you can try and give Ray Rice the ball and try and keep it out of Brady's hands. But as soon as he fumbles and the Pats open up a 2-score lead, that game plan's in serious jeopardy. Let's put 5 crisp $100 on the Pats at home minus the points.
SAN FRANCISCO -2.5 vs. New York: America's Crappiest Stadium gets one more day in the national spotlight. The logic for the other game doesn't fit here as Eli's clearly better than Alex and I think the coaching matchup is a tie. So, we look for something else. The weather is looking a bit damp leading up to the game and you know the crack maintenance staff at Candlestick isn't exactly going to try and dry that place out and give an advantage to the Giants with their speed at wideout. It'll be sloppy and that is a big advantage for the Niners. That defense will be up to the task and be able to rattle Eli. Vernon Davis' waterworks strike again and the Niners make their way to Indy. The added bonus of this is they'll lose in the Super Bowl and we all know how the Super Bowl loser tends to fare the next year. Another 5 crisp $100 bills on the Niners please.
Baltimore vs. New York. Potentially the most boring scenario. Two boring head coaches. Two boring quarterbacks, unless Flacco cranks up his Whine Machine again. Maybe you trot out the story line about Baltimore coming back to Indy to win a Super Bowl. One of these days Seattle will have that when we get an NBA team back and are able to stick it to Oklahoma City in the playoffs.
Ok, on to the picks and the effort to win more fake money:
NEW ENGLAND -7 vs. Baltimore: This one boils down to going with the best quarterback, the best coach, and the home-field advantage. Yes, calling New England's defense sieve-like is offensive to sieves everywhere. At least sieves can stop the big chunks. But Baltimore's offense just isn't that good. Sure you can try and give Ray Rice the ball and try and keep it out of Brady's hands. But as soon as he fumbles and the Pats open up a 2-score lead, that game plan's in serious jeopardy. Let's put 5 crisp $100 on the Pats at home minus the points.
SAN FRANCISCO -2.5 vs. New York: America's Crappiest Stadium gets one more day in the national spotlight. The logic for the other game doesn't fit here as Eli's clearly better than Alex and I think the coaching matchup is a tie. So, we look for something else. The weather is looking a bit damp leading up to the game and you know the crack maintenance staff at Candlestick isn't exactly going to try and dry that place out and give an advantage to the Giants with their speed at wideout. It'll be sloppy and that is a big advantage for the Niners. That defense will be up to the task and be able to rattle Eli. Vernon Davis' waterworks strike again and the Niners make their way to Indy. The added bonus of this is they'll lose in the Super Bowl and we all know how the Super Bowl loser tends to fare the next year. Another 5 crisp $100 bills on the Niners please.
