In the meantime, let's look forward to the Ravens making a rare Seahawks Stadium appearance and preview the game through the eyes of Stu, Phil, Doug, and Alan as they take over Las Vegas.
"See kids, this is where we bring suspects in order to be detained. Trust me, you do not want to be sitting in these seats. We call this place "Loserville".": At times, I do feel like I'm being held against my will with this team. They frustrate the life out of me, only to pull me back in with a game like in New York. I can't get away. At the same time, I do feel like the rest of country looks and laughs at us up here as we sit in our Loserville seats at Seahawks Stadium.
"I shouldn't be here. Why is that, Alan? I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.": I wonder if that was also part of Ray Lewis' agreement when his murder charges were thrown out a few years back. Speaking of Ray, is it just me, or does he lead the league in "number of times jumping on the pile when a tackle's already been made"? I'm wondering if his last couple Pro Bowl nominations were just on reputation and that seizure dance he does when he's introduced at home. Also, show of hands, when Chuck E. Cheese is mentioned, how many of you get a little nostalgic for the days when you dropped a flying elbow on your friends in the ball pit? Just me? Ok, I'm fine with that.
"Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.": Pete, would you please find a way to use Zach Miller a little more? You're giving this guy $19 million over the life of his contract and all he is right now is a blocker that's allowed to go further downfield than everyone else. I feel like I come away from every game this year asking the same question. It's getting a little weird. Thankfully, we don't have to see you walking around in whitey-tighties while asking this question.
"Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him. Understood. Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.": I find myself thinking the same thing about our offensive staff. I don't necessarily want Bevell calling plays since there's obviously something wrong with him. At the same time, it's not like anyone else around there knows what they're doing on offense.
"Alright. Let's go, handsome. Come on. Not you, fat Jesus. Slide it on back.": Charlie, don't get confused on Sunday. If Tarvaris re-injures his pec, they're going to Josh Portis. Just slide it on back to the bench there buddy. We know what you can do. Just stand there with a clipboard and pretend your sending out signals. Maybe go over and pick up the phone so it looks like you're talking to someone upstairs. I don't care if it's the caterer and you're making sure your postgame sushi roll doesn't have wasabi in it. Just stay away from the field.
"How about you, big man? Come on up here. Okay, same instructions: just point, aim and shoot. There y'go. That's the stuff. I like the intensity, eye of the tiger. You're holding 50,000 volts, little man. Don't be afraid to ride the lightning. [the kid tasers Alan] *In the face! In the face!*: Come on Tarvaris. It's eye of the tiger time. It's time to focus and harness the 50,000 volts you've got in Sidney Rice and Mike Williams. And if you happened to burn Ed Reed in the face, that's all the better.
"Uh, if we're sharing beds, I'm bunking with Phil. You cool with that? No, I'm not cool with that.": You know what I'm not cool with? I'm not cool with Pom Pom Pete continuing to speak in mean-nothing platitudes at his press conferences, particularly when he uses the term "stuff". "We've got stuff we can do better". "These guys are learning lots of new stuff". What are you, 15? At least you're not like a number of your players when they're interviewed who say "you know" every 2.8 seconds. I'd suggest a drinking game whenever someone on that defense is interviewed where you have to drink whenever he says "you know", but I'm afraid people would die before the interview was over.
"Hey, you guys ready to let the dogs out?": C'mon Hawks. Let's show the nation we still have a little fight left in us. Baltimore's already lost to Jacksonville this year, so there's no reason we can't beat them in our house. I don't care if that's cockeyed optimism and it's a little too much Pom Pom