In the meantime, it's time for what feels like the Hawks annual trip to Dallas. It's Texas, it's football, so put on your whipped cream bikinis and let's look at this game through the lens of Varsity Blues.
"Ladies, shut up and hold on to your nipples!": Just in case the offensive line didn't get a chance to watch the Sunday Night game last week, DeMarcus Ware's pretty good. Tom Cable better come up with a plan to slow him down at least a little.
"Hey you wanna see the new Tweeder end zone dance? You know what it's called? What? The New Tweeder End Zone Dance.": I could care less if the Hawks can't come up with a catchy name for an end zone dance. In the name of all that is good and decent, I just want you to have the opportunity to display one!! The offense the last 2 weeks has been embarassing. Tarvaris throws for over 300 yards in 3 quarters on Sunday and you only get one TD? Can't happen again.
"It's a strip club, man. I'm here to work!": One of the more disturbing scenes of the movie as Billy Bob gets down to his drawers before being offered a beer to step off the stage, it brings to mind the disturbing nature of the offense. I understand we're lacking talent just about everywhere on offense. The line can't block, the receivers can't get open, T-Jack can't make reads without having 10 minutes back there, etc. etc. etc. Well, at some point, doesn't this fall on the offensive coordinator? How are you a coach this long without devising some kind of scheme that actually works with the talent you've got (and there most definitely is some talent). I'll give Darrell Bevell this though, at least he's not throwing multiple fade passes on 4th and short.
"She broke my heart, so I broke her jaw.": Oh Charlie Tweeder. You wonder if either Tony Romo or Miles Austin said the same thing when Jessica Simpson and Kim Kardashian left those two, respectively. Granted, Romo got over that fairly quickly and with a huge upgrade to a former Miss Missouri. I wonder if Miles is having himself a good chuckle at what happened to Humpdashian this week. Or maybe it's relief realizing he dodged a huge bullet.
"Congratulations for what? For getting to wear such cute "mountme" hats. Mount me? Not right away. Maybe after a few drinks...": I kinda felt like the police officer in that scene when Pom-Pom Pete was talking about how some of his decisions on Sunday were hormonal. Hormonal??!! Granted, over the course of human history rushes of testosterone have certainly caused men to do dumb things. See Bill marrying Hillary, Tom marrying Roseanne, the entire run of the Golden Girls when some guy would willingly go out on a date with Dorothy. But don't tell me some rush of hormones makes you forget that the clock doesn't stop after a first down in the NFL and you don't have any timeouts left. You throw into the end zone or kick the field goal right away.
"If we go out and half-ass it 'cause we're scared, then we'll always wonder if we were really good enough. But if we go out there and give it all we've got... that's heroic. You guys wanna be heroes?": Ahhh...nothing like a good pep talk right before the climactic part of the movie. Plus, you get to hear Dawson in a very iffy Texas accent. But Seahawks, take that message to heart. No half-assing. No excuses just because it's a 10am pacific start. We roll back our clocks this Sunday, so you should get enough sleep. Then again, I'll channel the comedian Ron White when I talk about the Hawks, "we've met". Apart from what is now looking like a complete fluke in New York, this team doesn't surprise anyone on the road. While a 12-point spread seems a little high for a team quarterbacked by Tony Romo, it's well deserved.
Cowboys 24, Seahawks 10