In any case, we have a game that counts in our midst, and that game must be previewed. I'd love to link this in with either the Seahawks, the Packers, or football in general, but I can't. But Tommy Boy is a darn funny movie and the quotes fit, so here we go.
"It's called reading! Top to bottom, left to right... a group of words together is called a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches... Midol for any cramps." If you peruse the columns of ESPN.com or CBSSportsline.com, you'll find that there's not many out there who believe the Seahawks can repeat. Granted, it hasn't been done in 10 years since the Patriots did it so it's a little understandable to not pick against that streak. But if the national media had bothered to do any reading, they'd know a few things that would have helped them see the light. First, have we all heard about this guy Percy Harvin by now? I think he's pretty good. Yes, we lost Golden Tate. Something tells me Percy will be able to pick up that slack and then some. Second, the media love to remind us about history. Teams don't repeat, teams that win the Super Bowl lose that edge, yada yada yada. Well, anyone bother to look at what 3rd year quarterbacks do? I'll save you the time. The great ones make the big leap in their 3rd year. Do we know any Seahawk quarterback who's in his 3rd year? We've already seen glimpses of what might be to come in the 2 home preseason games. If that trend continues, look out.
"But I'm going to be honest with you. I don't like you, probably never will. You're a smug unhappy little man and you treat people like they were idiots." Aaron Rodgers makes his return to the scene of the crime. Well, at least that's how he views what transpired on September 24, 2012. The Fail Mary. The Replacement Ref Game. Small Payback For A City Hosed By Officials For 30 Years. Call it what you will. The nation will be reminded on an almost constant basis as to what transpired two years ago as we go through the day today. They won't mention the 8 1st half sacks the Seahawks had to put them in a position to win. They won't mention boneheaded penalties the Packers made giving the Seahawks yet more chances to win. They'll just remind you that a plumber (or whatever that guy did) decided that the Hawks should win and they're even more upset about the fact that he's posed for photographs with the team since.
"Went a little heavy on the pine tree perfume there, kid? Sir, it's an taxicab air freshener. Good, you've pinpointed it. Step two is washing it out." Cheesehead Nation descends upon our fair city today. Although really they don't descend like they used to. Now they just kind of sprinkle in with the crowd as they've been squeezed out by the irresistable force that is the 12th Man. I remember the fall of 1996 when the Packers came to the Kingdome and it was the lone sellout that year so we actually got to watch the game on local tv. You would have thought the game was at Lambeau Field. We have indeed come a long, long way both as a team and as a fan base. It's awesome to see.
"Listen up, you little spazoids. I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear to everything holy that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you." I think this was the warning that Bruce Irvin was trying to give the Packer center, but he did it a little more eloquently. Aaron Rodgers is going to have a center snapping the ball to him on Thursday that has yet to ever snap a ball to him. He's been pushed into duty after the Packers regular center fractured his left knee. Bruce said he'd pray for him since he's got a pretty good idea for what Brandon Mebane will do to him. I think that's awfully sporting of him. The 12th Man will certainly do their part in making Corey Linsley feel at home.
"Marty, find out where the police are going to be taking him. Send over a bottle of bubbly with a bucket of ice and a card. Have it say, "Tough break, get drunk on me. Use the bucket to ice down your marbles, Yours, Z." Probably would have fit a little better for Mike McCarthy the last time they were here, but it should still work tonight. The Packers may very well need that bottle of bubbly to drown their sorrows on the plane ride home. I know they'll need the ice bucket after the physical beatdown the Seahawks will lay upon them.
"My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators." After some time in the nerdery I believe I've come up with the proper calculations. An ever-improving Russell Wilson + A healthy Percy Harvin + An Angry Doug Baldwin + A defense that wants to prove they still have that chip on their shoulder + An insane 12th Man + The unfurling of our first Super Bowl Championship Banner = A very disappointed group of Packers.
Seahawks 27, Packers 13