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Week 11 Preview - Best In Show

11/14/2014

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And so it begins.  The home stretch of games that's been looming on the horizon for Seahawks fans the last couple months.  The 7 games that could have the Hawks as a #1 seed in the playoffs, limp in as a wild card, or watching from home once January comes around.  The Seahawks have the toughest remaining schedule in the NFL (and it's not close) where they'll face opponents with a combined .667 winning percentage.  Maybe not the best time to have Brandon Mebane's hamstring rip apart from the rest of his body.

However, the show must go on.  The Hawks will get on their Delta charter this afternoon and wing their way to the City of Fountains aka Kansas City.  This week, we're using an old favorite of mine.  Best In Show is one of the series of mockumentaries that Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy wrote the past 20 years and is the consensus best one that they did.  So let's see if we can get a fake dog show to somehow equate to a Seahawks-Chiefs matchup.
"I'll gouge your right eye out with my thumb, I sh*t you not, you little freak! Now, will you get down here? I'm gonna punch you in the eye till it turns to jelly! I'll stab you with forks till you bleed, how bout that?"  You probably couldn't hear it, but I think that's what Marshawn was saying to the Giants last week after each of his 4 touchdowns.  That was an incredible performance all around by the offensive line, by Russell, and by each of our running backs.  Granted, Perry Fewell and his utter incompetence at coaching a defense certainly helped, but even against some of the bad defenses the Hawks have played in years past, they never got 350 yards. 

"Don't water the plants, they're plastic!" Now the Seahawks head out on the road to one of the great barbecue capitals of this country to take on a team that looks very similar to themselves.  Great running back.  Quarterback that puts a premium on protecting the ball as opposed to trying to make the incredible, if ill-advised, play.  Stout defense.  Not to mention a crowd that most definitely contributes to the team's success.  Probably not too much of a coincidence that they both come into the game 6-3.

"Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?"  Maybe another thing these teams have in common.  Wide receiver is certainly an area of, let's say, concern for both teams.  You and I have caught as many passing touchdowns as the Kansas City wide receivers have this year.  KC is definitely a team that uses its running backs and tight ends as primary targets in the passing game.  That means our linebacking crew is going to have to give an exceptional performance, which I'm hoping they can do.  The Chiefs offense isn't all that different from San Diego's where they just dink and dunk and take the short passes you give them.  The Chargers lit up the Hawks doing that and with the injuries the linebacking corps has sustained, I'm a little nervous about their prospects.

"Have you tried looking under the bed? Of course I've looked under the bed, of course I've looked under the bed. That's where you look when you lose things." And apparently that's where the folks at Arrowhead have been keeping the pizza dough.  ESPN came out with an article today detailing the myriad of health code violations they found at both Arrowhead and Kauffman Stadium.  Moldy ice, ladles being "stored" inside trash cans when not in use, and apparently armies of fruit flies buzzing around the stadium all conspiring to give the plumbing at those stadiums a good work out.  So, word of advice for any 12s making the trek this weekend.  Treat the place like you would Mexico.  Only bottled water and don't eat the lettuce.

"She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig." But that's the look they go for out there in the tailgating lots in Kansas City.  The Cheating Chief Faithful will be in full throat on Sunday.  Unless of course they get snowed in Saturday night which looks to be a distinct possibility.  I say Cheating Chief Faithful because we all know how they got back that record of loudest stadium.  We saw you with the decibel meter right up next to a group of people screaming into it.  But I say we call a truce to this stupid feud.  We don't want to deal with Joe Tafoya's shenanigans anymore and it's obvious you need some kind of title to hold on to.  Heaven knows it's not a Super Bowl title.

"I went to one of those obedience places once... it was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts."  I think the 3 leading teams in the NFC West can all sympathize.  After last week, hot candle wax in tender areas might have been preferred to what happened to their stars.  The Whiners find out that Patrick Willis is out for the year, along with Navarro Bowman not progressing nearly as well as they had hoped.  The Cardinals just set $50 million on fire by re-signing Carson Palmer only to have him blow out an ACL turning to his left.  Then our beloved Hawks lose the heart of the defensive line in Brandon Mebane with a torn hamstring.  Truly turning out to be a war of attrition in the NFC West.  This is where you really see what your coaching staffs are worth by their ability to get the most out of the depth at each position.

"I don't think I could ever get used to being poked and prodded like that. I told my proctologist one time, "Why don't you take me out to dinner and a movie sometime?" Unfortunately for the 12th Man, I've got a sinking feeling that Sunday is going to feel like a visit to the proctologist.  Kansas City has a pretty good running game, and the Hawks just lost their best run stuffer on the D-line.  KC likes to dink and dunk and our defense has been picked apart by offenses this year that play that style.  It's going to be cold at Arrowhead on Sunday, possibly with some snow coming down as well.  Marshawn should have a fine game, but in that kind of weather against a defense that definitely has a pass rush, I don't know that the passing game can give him the help he needs. I hope I'm throwing out the reverse jinx but....

Chiefs 17, Seahawks 13
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