But that was Sunday. Now it's on to Thanksgiving and the renewal of the greatest rivalry in the NFL. The nation gets to wrap up its favorite day of food and football with a Seahawks-Niners tilt that's been circled on the calendar for 7 months. With that spirit of competition, let's preview the game through the competition of larger rubber balls with Dodgeball.
"It's time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian." But enough about Crabtree and Kaepernick. It is time to separate the men from the boys, and this rivalry has most definitely done that the last number of years. The Hawks make their first visit to Mom Jeans Stadium in Santa Clara, where the home field advantage has been mediocre at best for the Whiners in their inaugural year in their new digs. With losses to St. Louis and Chicago thus far, it gives a Seahawk fan some hope that they can snap the 5 game road losing streak against Santa Clara.
"In thirty days I'll be bulldozing that shit-heap you call a gym into permanent nothingness. And I can only hope that you, and the mongrel race that comprise your membership, are inside it when I do." For years we've hoped that Candlestick Park would just slide into San Francisco Bay with a large contigent of the Whiner Faithful inside. But, now the convict population has a new place in which to stab not only opposing team fans but also the occasional fellow Niner fan that was residing in the wrong cell block. Well, maybe with the increased cost of tickets and the move out of that hellhole of a neighborhood that Candlestick was in, they can cut down on the felonies this year.
"Too bad Hallmark doesn't make a "Sorry your dodgeball coach got killed by two tons of irony" card." I wonder if they make a "Sorry your coach was fired even though he won a bunch of games but was an insufferable blowhard so we canned his ass" card because the Niners might have to send that to their season ticket holders come January. Jim Harbaugh, like he has done everywhere he's coached, brought the Niners back to prominence since taking over the reigns in January 2011. However, like he has done everywhere he's coached, he has managed to alienate himself from his bosses. The GM and owner just about finalized a trade in the offseason that would have sent Jimmy to Cleveland. How pissed do you have to be at a guy to send him to NFL purgatory?
"Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought that I was once." The Hawks get a look at the resident 49er genius Aldon Smith once again. This beacon of light in society has 2 DUI's, 3 felony charges for gun possession, and makes an incoherent bomb threat at LAX, all within the span of 28 months and yet still has a job. I won't go down the rabbit hole of trying to equate this with any of the other high-profile offenses the NFL has dealt with this year, but it's just very curious that he's still allowed to play football, much less able to play it this year.
"If you're going to become true dodgeballers, then you've got to learn the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!" With his performance last week, Russell Wilson could re-make that dodgeball video without much trouble. He was under siege all day and yet was still able to make multiple plays with his uncanny ability to dip, dive, and dodge at the proper time. He will need to employ all of those skills yet again on Thursday with that formidable defensive line that the Niners will trot out there.
"Go you crazy son of a bitch GO!" I think that was the exact wording we used when watching Marshawn on Sunday. True, he was bottled up most of the day. But when needed most in the 4th quarter, Beast Mode made his presence felt to get the Hawks the win. Now, he faces a team that he has feasted on the last number of years. With the lack of Bowman and Willis at linebacker, that run defense looks a little less solid than it has the past number of years when the Seahawks played in the Bay Area.
"Come on, Kate. It's time to put your mouth where our balls are." Come on Kaep. It's that time again. Time to face the Legion of Boom and repeat your mistakes of the past number of years. Ok sure, you were able to get a win last year at home, but let's be honest, that was Frank Gore who did that. When given the opportunity to win the game on your own, we all know where you end up.
"Oh! Right in the testicles! Ouchtown, population you, bro!" Let's be honest, that will apply to whoever ends up losing this game. In a division this tight and a conference that's looking like 10 wins isn't guaranteeing a playoff spot, losing this game hurts in all kinds of different ways. This has all the looks of a close game where one bounce one way or the other will decide it. Thankfully, I think those bounces have started to go the Hawks way ever so slightly. This isn't earlier in the year where they couldn't fall on a fumble if they were the only guys on the field. Those turnovers are starting to come back and that to me is the key.
"Prepare to be humiliated on cable television!" Well, network television actually. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
Seahawks 20, 49ers 14