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Week 14 Preview - Black Sheep

12/7/2012

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Have we all recovered?  I know it took me a couple days for the heart rate to get back to normal after that game in Chicago.  That game probably shaved a few months off my life and necessitated some apologies to the neighbors.  I know I've complained in the season previews about the Seahawks seemingly having to go to Chicago every year, but at least they're pretty successful when they do. 

Ok, show of hands, who enjoyed Jim Harbaugh and the Niners going down in flames in St. Louis almost as much as the Hawks win? Yep, that would be my hand in the air.  That pretty much made my Sunday.  Then to have Mitch debut "Douchebag Harbaugh Style" on Monday's show?  That's just icing on the cake.

Now we're back in the cozy confines of Seahawks Stadium this week.  The Cardinals and their quarterback sideshow make their way to town.  Let's preview through the hijinks of a hypothetical Washington governor's election (although ol' Gregoire looks eerily similar to Gov. Tracy, doesn't she?).
"That's one small step for man! One giant... I have a dream!": Pretty much sums up the week around here.  So deliriously happy with that win over the Bears, Hawks fans could barely put together a coherent sentence.  Of course it could be due to the legalization of marijuana too.  I'm not sure.  But now all things seem possible.  The division title became plausible with the Niners loss and the upcoming schedule for both them and the Hawks.  If we're truly climbing aboard the Dare To Dream Express (copyright The Groz), there's also the distinct possibility of a first-round bye with a home game in the divisional round for the Hawks. Of course that requires them to win out which is certainly possible with 3 of the last 4 at home and the only road game being essentially at a neutral site in Toronto. 

"Are you or are you not the Black Angel of Death?": Poor Ken Whisenhunt.  You know he's probably asked that question of his ownership a couple times the past few months.  This team started 4-0, was the darling of the NFL, and actually got a small amount of respect from the 4-letter network.  Since then?  8 straight losses, a revolving door at quarterback, and a reserved spot in the basement of the NFC West. 

"I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants. We didn't have any pudding in there buddy.": I'm picturing this conversation happening at the Cardinals facility as they look at the monumental task in front of them this week.  Unlike in Week 1, Russell Wilson has command of this offense.  His receivers are catching the balls thrown to them.  Oh, and Marshawn Lynch is still pretty good last we checked.

"I'm not far from dragging you out of the car and beating you to dust.": Ok, another show of hands.  Who had this feeling when you found out that Browner and Sherman don't know how to beat a drug test, er, sorry, were in violation of the NFL's banned substance policy?  I thought Sherman went to Stanford.  Is he really that stupid to not know what you're putting into your body.  Browner's an Oregon State grad, so I understand with him (sorry Beaver believers).  It looks like at least the suspensions are going to be staggered so we'd have at least 1 of them in the playoffs, but gentelmen, you've got some major apologizing to do to the 12th Man for this.

"Neushwender are you finished stirring that drink or is this some kind of f***ing science experiment?": Hey! Respect your bartender! Hawk Alley rises again on Sunday after a 3 week hiatus.  With the renewed excitement surrounding this team, I suspect the alley will be in full throat early on Sunday.  We'd love to see your shining face down there to join us. 

"Dream on, you little fart.": Dream on Cardinals fans.  Your losing streak continues at Seahawks Stadium.  John Skelton will be but a mere stain on the field turf by game's end.  Larry Fitzgerald and his stupid hair and stupid glasses will have yet another loss to explain.  The Hawks will continue their roll towards the division title and probably set up a nationally televised Sunday Night game with the Niners.  

"This guy is like Leatherface, Chucky and Jan Brady all rolled into one.": Finally, I wanted to take the time to pay tribute to a local radio legend who hung up his headphones yesterday.  Mike Gastineau entertained and informed Seattle fans for 21+ years at KJR and Thursday was his last show on the station.  He helped get the momentum rolling for Safeco Field, Seahawks Stadium, and the soon to be built Sonics Arena.  He brought a voice of reason and sensibility to sports radio.  He prepared us for the NFC Championship game in the middle of a massive lesbian dance party.  He also helped raise over $1.5 million through the Groz-With-Gas-A-Thon (now KJR Kares-a-thon). He took a huge gamble and offered up our tailgate as an auction item, and with his promotion and Hawks fans support, we've raised $3,000 the last 2 years for local literacy, youth, and cancer programs.  Gas, thanks for all you've done for this city.  Good luck with the next chapter.  We better see your mug often down at the tailgate!

Seahawks 24, Cardinals 6
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