Now the Hawks head to the Motor City. The site of the travesty known as Super Bowl XL. Thankfully Jerome Bettis is nowhere in sight. Let's preview the game through the genius of Airplane.
"Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.": Ok, now we'll make the Suh joke. Attention Seahawks offensive line, have your heads on a swivel and remember to protect your quarterback, particularly after he gets rid of the ball. Ol' Ndamukong likes to take cheap shots if he gets the opportunity. Now, if he happens to be on the ground, and your cleat just happens to stomp on his jugular, I won't judge you.
"He's all over the place! Nine hundred feet up to 1300 feet. What an asshole!": Oh Russell Wilson. I guess this is the story of the Seahawks fan's life with a rookie QB. Have the game of your life against a great team like the Patriots and then have a 0.0 quarterback rating in the 2nd half of the game last week in San Francisco. My friend, we need you to step up this week. You'll be in a warm, cozy dome. Your receivers won't drop the ball this week. Marshawn will take care of his part, you just need to do yours.
"The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There's never stopping in a white zone. Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping! Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again.": Unfortunately this year, the red zone has been where the Hawks offense goes to die and waits to be towed by the field goal unit. C'mon Hawks. You tend to look pretty decent when you're operating off the scripted plays. It can't be that much tougher to get things going when the plays are coming in from the sideline.
"Bad news. The fog's getting thicker. Johnny: [jumps to an overweight controller] And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.": Sorry, it's an unnecessary shot at Fudge Stafford. I thought we had the market cornered a couple years ago with Fudge Plackemeier as our punter, but Stafford raised the bar. However, the kid threw for 41 TD's last year so you know he has the skills. The pass rush is going to be of utmost importance this week to make sure he and Megatron don't get into a rhythm.
"Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts? No.": Sorry Detroit, but the Seahawks are just a better team. The defense is better. The running game is better. The special teams are better. On top of that, the Hawks are owed one in your building. Well, they're owed a lot more than one, but they only play one game at a time. The Hawks know they can't make the playoffs at 7-9 this year and there's very little room for error. This will be a rested team with a chip on their shoulder from what happened in America's Crappiest Stadium.
Seahawks 24, Lions 14